Let’s cut the fluff. You’re here because you’re stuck in a situationship with Mr. Bare Minimum, aka the king of "I'm just bad at texting," "I don’t do labels," and that one emoji reply at 2 a.m. You’re over here, losing sleep, analyzing his every breadcrumb like you’re Sherlock Holmes, while he’s… probably asleep.
So, let’s be real for a hot second: he’s not “emotionally unavailable.” He just doesn’t care enough to be available for you. There. I said it. Let’s unpack this mess.
Step 1: He’s Not Confused. You Are.
Stop romanticizing his mixed signals like they’re some kind of tragic love story. He’s not some tortured soul afraid of love—he’s just not putting in effort because he doesn’t have to. Why? Because you’re out here doing all the emotional heavy lifting.
He says, “I’m not ready for a relationship right now,” and you translate it as, I’m so special, he needs time to process his feelings for me. Nah, sis. He’s saying, “I like having you around but not enough to commit.”
Step 2: Emotional Breadcrumbs = Manipulation
Here’s the thing about emotionally unavailable guys: they’re experts at doing just enough to keep you hooked. He’ll send one cute text out of the blue, and BOOM—you’re back to believing he cares.
But when you’re the one putting in 90% of the effort while he’s giving “barely there” energy? That’s not love, babe. That’s you clinging to a fantasy while he’s just… enjoying the attention.
Step 3: Stop Blaming His “Trauma”
Let me guess: you’ve convinced yourself that his avoidance is because of his tragic backstory. Daddy issues? Trust problems? His ex was a villain? Sure, maybe, but guess what? Trauma isn’t an excuse to treat people like trash.
And while you’re out here trying to be his emotional support animal, he’s not doing a damn thing to meet you halfway. Healing is his responsibility, not yours. You’re not his therapist, his mom, or his emotional punching bag.
Step 4: Why Are You Ignoring the Red Flags?
Sis, he told you who he is on day one. He’s emotionally unavailable. He doesn’t want a relationship. He’s “not ready for commitment.” That wasn’t a riddle or a secret code for try harder to change me. That was him giving you an OUT.
But did you take it? No. You stayed, thinking you could love him into being better. Spoiler alert: he won’t change unless he wants to, and trust me, your over-investment isn’t inspiring him to do anything except… stay exactly the same.
Step 5: The Savage Truth You Don’t Want to Hear
If he wanted to, he would. Period. Stop making excuses for why he’s not treating you the way you deserve. He’s not busy. He’s not “processing his emotions.” He’s just not prioritizing you. And no amount of you playing cool or giving him space is gonna magically make him wake up one day and be like, Wow, she’s the one.
Here’s a savage but freeing thought: you’re not too much, too clingy, or too emotional. You’re just asking for the bare minimum from someone who isn’t even giving that.
The Glow-Up Moment
You don’t need to be his therapist, his savior, or his “maybe someday” girl. Let him go. Let him ghost. Let him live his emotionally unavailable life while you go find someone who actually wants to be there for you.
Because you’re not here to be a backup plan. You’re not an option. You’re the whole damn prize, and if he can’t see that? His loss. Pack up your self-worth, queen, and walk out with your crown intact.
And if he tries to come back with his “I miss you” texts after you’ve moved on? Reply with this: “I miss me too when I wasted my time on you. Bye!”
You’re done chasing. You’re done begging. You’re done waiting. Because the real tea is this: love doesn’t have to feel like a guessing game. So, let him fumble the bag. You’re too fire for this nonsense.
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